#black feminists taught me

[padawan-historian]

From @blackwomenradicals

[shitacademicswrite]

I want to share something for those of you who are teaching and want your conservative students to be more open-minded to liberal ideas that you’re presenting.

I grew up in a conservative family and a conservative town, and like most conservative kids, had been told that colleges were hotbeds of liberalism, so I was already defensive politically when I started college. My first semester or two I was really skeptical of everything political that my professors presented me with.

And then I took a women’s studies course (required at my college). And on the first day, the professor said, 

“You don’t have to be a feminist. There are days when I’m not a feminist. But we’re going to discuss feminist ideas in this class, and you might find that you agree with some of them and disagree with others, and that’s fine.”

And that took the pressure off. By telling me that I didn’t HAVE to be a feminist, that I didn’t HAVE to agree, that professor started me on the road to becoming a feminist. I particularly remember her giving us information about what a huge percentage of the housework was still done by women, even in [hetero] couples where both the man and woman worked outside the home. And after that I remember saying, “I’m not a feminist, but I can see where they’re coming from.” 

Within 5 years, I was claiming the term and coming out to my mom as a feminist.

So when I taught college writing, I assigned politically liberal essays to my students, many of whom came from conservative backgrounds. And before they read the first one, I would say,

“The reading for the next class--I want you to know that you don’t have to agree with it. You don’t have to agree with anything that your professors teach you in college. But the point of a college education is to have your mind opened to other points of view. So you’re not required to agree, but you are required to approach the reading with an open mind. You might find that you agree with some things the author says and disagree with others. And that’s cool! We WANT you to use your critical thinking and decide for yourself what you think about things! But to do that, you need to give people the benefit of the doubt and be open-minded to what they have to say.”

And I have to say, it worked really well for me! I remember in particular that after I assigned the essay “Black Men and Public Space”, one of my students wrote in her reading reflection,

“I was taught in school that racism in America ended with Martin Luther King. I am appalled to discover that this is not true.”

Priming your students to be open-minded, while also encouraging them to use critical thinking, can help to break down some of the automatic defenses against new ideas that students are often taught. Approaching your students’ comments during discussion with an open-minded view yourself, validating their experiences while also making gentle counterarguments, can do a lot as well.

[snekdood]

Its wild to me that theres probably people out there that think im someone who needs to be educated on misogyny n shit bc of whatever my ex says, as if "snake" the character wasnt intentionally a joke character- like mj picks on him ALL THE TIME for his dumb misogynistic beliefs n shit, and its literally always fucking been that way, lol

[doberbutts]

I remember reading a post that men are the oppressor class so why would they bother to dismantle systemic patriarchy when they actively benefit from its existence? And as I read it, I thought, Damn, so an entire half of the population can never conceivably help us, and the people who love men in their lives are doomed. It wasn't a helpful post. It basically felt, here's some actual material analysis on feminism and said, That trying to educate and make men be part of feminism is fundamentally a flawed effort, because again, they are the oppressor class, why should they care about uplifting the oppressed?

And it made me think about this very good pamphlet I read, explaining how the white worker remained complacent for so long because at least they weren't a Black slave. And that the author theorized the reason labor movements never truly created exceptional, radical change is because of internal racism (which I find true) and failure to uplift black people. And the author listed common outlooks/approaches to this problem, and one of them was: "We should ignore the white folks entirely and hold solidarity with only other POC, and the countries in the Global South. Who needs those wishy-washy white fragile leftists who don't care about what we think or want?" (roughly paraphrased.)

And the author said, This sounds like the most leftist and radical position, but it's totally flawed because it absolves us of our responsibility to dismantle white supremacy for the sake of our fellow marginalized people, and we are basically ignoring the problem. And that blew me away because this is a position so many activists have, to just ignore the white folks and focus entirely on our own movements. I wish I knew the name of the actual pamphlet, so I could quote entire passages at you.

But I feel this is the same for men. Obviously, we should prioritize and have women-led and women-focused feminism. But saying that men are an oppressor class so they can't reliably be counted upon in feminist activism--it's such a huge oversimplification. And mainly, I'm a Muslim, and I've been treated with plenty of misogyny from Muslim men. And also plenty of misogyny from Muslim women. And I love my male friends, I want men to be part of the movement, and I dunno. Thinking about communities, movements, and the various ways we fail each other and what it means to be truly intersectional keeps me up at night.

I don't know the pamphlet you're talking about but I've read and been taught similar. There's a reason much of my anti-racism is so feminist and most of my feminism is anti-racist. Many people coming at this problem from a truly intersectional angle have seen that there is no freedom to be had without joining hands across the community. Not picking and choosing our allies based off of identity but off of behavior.

As used in a previous example, a white abled moderately wealthy man saying "wow Healthcare sucks in this country, why does this system suck so bad" should be told "hey, this system sucks so bad because it's built off of sexism, racism, classism, and ableism. You want to improve the system? Fix those things and it will be much better in the long run" and not "shut up you're a man. Healthcare is always going to be better for you". The second response doesn't fix that Healthcare is still a problem even if you are at the "top" of the privilege ladder. If we want true change, we have to dismantle the entire system at it's core and build it up without the yuck, otherwise you're gunna get to the top and realize this place sucks too.

Something something if the crabs worked together to hold each other up, they could all get out of the bucket and be free.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for bringing dahl to a compagny potluck ?🍩🍜🍝🍱🍛

Everyone had to bring "their speciality" at work for lunch. I didn't really paid attention to the wording and brought a Dahl.

Dahl is easy to make for a lot of people and very accommodating for people with food restrictions (I am vegetarian with various allergies and used to only rely on the food I bring myself in shared meal events). Emma, a colleague, was mad at me because she interpreted "speciality" as "cultural food" (no one was bringing specific traditional food, just the usual potluck food). She thinks I am committing cultural appropriation.

Emma is a Black American woman, while I am white. We both live in a white European country, however my patents were immigrants in this country, and European "racism" can see 1000 flavors of "white" and are quite xenophobic (if not plainly racist), so I have been victim of racism/xenophobia here.

Emma is well versed in a lot of woke stuff, anti racism, feminist and stuff and I usually look up to her on those subjects but here… I don't think there is cultural appropriation ? Maybe it's an American/European difference?

From what I understand, cultural appropriation is when a dominant culture (usually white) benefits from doing cultural stuff of someone else, while the minority who the stuff comes from is oppressed and forbidden of doing the stuff.

But I am not saying Dahl is a dish I invented. Everyone is well aware it's Indian. I didn't published "my" receive or anything. I have no social media influence and don't posted about the food I cook anyway. People at work were unphased by the dish.

In my country, Indian people don't face discrimination (that I know of) for cooking their traditional food. There is a ton of Indian restaurants in my city and they are managed by Indian people. I go to those Indian restaurant quite often. So I don't think there is a financial or systemic problem.

I have cooked Dahl for myself for decades as it works really well with my vegetarian diet (as lentils are great plant based protein source) and MY cultural dishes are way too meat based. A lot of foreigner friends taught me their cultural vegetarian dish, as I taught then mine. I have seen a lot of white an POC (but non Indian) people cook Dahl. It's really a go to dish in the vegetarian circle I frequent.

My Indian friends think Emma is dumb but they are biased. The only Indian person at work didn't care and is usually pretty racist himself so I wouldn't trust his judgment if he told me something was "safe to do".

Was I culturally insensitive or was her anger misguided ?

[notchainedtotrauma]

What does it look like to be intolerant of colonialism ? What life would spring up, what recovery is possible if the colonial force actually shuts down ? I'm asking for a sister of mine, wherever she is now. Three million years ago she taught me something about us. I haven't forgotten. We deserve to be free.

from Undrowned: Black Feminist Lessons from Marine Mammals by Alexis Pauline Gumbs

[menagerie-politics]

"kill all men" is a disgusting message that doesn't actually contribute to feminism. Yes, all men benefit from the patriarchy, but NO, not all men should be killed or jailed just because most rapists and criminals are men. You cannot say "But if it's not all men then it's their friends" as if all men intentionally work together to hurt women. That's just not true. And you don't know everything your friends do, so don't expect the same from men (although yes, men should be taught to shut down sexist jokes and behaviors when they see it in their friend groups). Stop trying to justify it, even if it's a joke, it reduces men to their gender and supports violence on that basis. Any message that generalizes people for things they cannot control, and uses that generalization to justify violence will NEVER actually promote equality. I want to end the system; not the people. Free the oppressed; not eliminate the privileged.

It's not "kill all whites" it's black lives matter.

It's not "straights are sinful" it's love is love.

"Kill all men" doesn't focus on women, so why is it so prevalent in feminist spaces. Is kill all men the world you want to move towards? I cannot speak for all feminists, but I want a world where women get treated with respect they deserve as humans, simply because as humans, that is the default. I want a world where equality knows no gender. I want a world where empowered women get to empower the world. I want KAM as an idea to die out and I want "my body is my choice" to become as obvious a statement as "the sky is blue". I want "my place is wherever I go" to be so normal that it's redundant to say it. I want a world where "no" has no rebuttals, and that is simply a fact of life. I want a world where safe spaces are unnecessary because everywhere is safe. But until we get there, I want my message to tell the world exactly what I want. "Kill all men" isn't doing anything helpful, it's just helping feed the demonization of feminist movements. We should be focusing our energy on uplifting women and making sure abusive men are held accountable for their abusive actions.

And side-note in case terfs find this: I've lived most of my life with society assuming I'm a woman and treating me accordingly. I've been affected by misogyny (and misogynoir) for most of my life, and I've read books and taken classes on the oppression of women both in the past and present. I have researched the history of feminist movements in multiple parts of the world. I lived it, I've learned it, and I will not let anyone invalidate my knowledge or experiences.

[animentality]

"periods are a universal woman experience that trans women could never relate to-"

Except not all women have periods frequently or at all, due to a cavalcade of medical issues or simply age. Are women in menopause just not women anymore?

"having a uterus is what makes a woman a woman-"

except women get hysterectomies. For a million medical reasons. Are they not women if they develop ovarian cancer?

"being pregnant/giving birth makes a person female-"

A lot of women don't do this or want to do this. Some women get c sections and some have natural births. Some miscarry, some get abortions. You don't get to decide what they call themselves, based on how you define your own female experience.

"a woman is someone who grew up with misogyny and the male gaze. a trans person could never understand-"

You don't understand because you're an idiot.

Different women experience different forms of misogyny. Black women experience harsher forms of misogyny based on their gender and their race. White women don't know the lived experiences of latinas and their relationship to womanhood. Chinese women live different versions of womanhood from Korean women or Cambodian women.

Some women experience blatant misogyny such as being outright forbidden from leaving the home or the country without male guardians.

Others experience more subtle misogyny, being discouraged from sports, expected to take on the role of mother even if they're working full time and their husbands just expect them to still be a housewife.

Womanhood has never been universal.

You are not born a woman. No one is.

You become a woman.

Just as you become whatever society teaches you to be.

A student, a laborer, a wife, a mother.

None of these things are biological facts. They are cultural.

They are the things we taught one another. But they are not immutable law, and your world is frightening and strange and nothing is as controlled as you'd like to think.

So choose now to stop being a fucking moron and think.

These people claim to be feminists but then turn around and insist they can label and brand real women and not women.

That is because these people are not progressives, but fascists who want to limit personal expression and civil freedoms.

You tell me that you don't think trans people should be able to choose what they do with their own bodies and then turn around and insist you're prochoice and pro women's rights and pro bodily autonomy?

You raging buffoon. you absolute joke.

The path you've chosen trails downward.

You have no other recourse, you're just too dumb to see which way you're going.

[emiliosandozsequence]

Tell us about sjm. Spill the tea.

oh man there really is SOOO very much of it that idk how i'll fit all into one response, but i'll do my best 🫡

so sjm or sarah j maas is a very popular fantasy writer (she is the origin of 'feminist' romantasy as a genre because her writing has just been THAT influential (in some good ways, but mostly in bad ones for reasons i'll get to in a minute). she's jewish and has white skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes (this also is relevant i promise).

anyway, despite her writing being so influential it...is really not that good (it has the potential to be tho which is one of the (many) reasons why reading her stuff is so frustrating) and she has a HUUUGE problem with putting her biases in her writing, in particular her racism, misogyny, and ableism.

her racism is at a level that i truly find unbelievable. in every book of hers, every character that is seen as good/smart/beautiful/brave, is a main character, or, at the very least, starts out that way in the story and doesn't have a redemption arc later after the narrative has already taught you to hate her (because it's always female characters this is done with too), has fair hair and light colored eyes (and almost always light skin too); on the opposite end of the spectrum, every single (female) character that either is in the story for not very long, isn't a main character, starts out a bad or undesirable person in some manner, or isn't considered good/smart/beautiful/brave has dark hair, eyes, and/or skin.

this is a tame tho in comparison to the fact that in the first two throne of glass books (one the series she's written), the only black character is considered a manipulative liar (she's even described as such on the wiki lmao) despite being the main character's best friend before she's summarily killed off in an extremely violent manner all for the development of that main character. she also has an asian character in the acotar series that is considered rude and emotionless, despite, again, being a best friend of the main characters. oh and of COURSE the asian character doesn't have dark eyes lol. because...can't have that in a sjm book!!!! no one can look like an irl person of color AT ALL!!!! g-d. and then, ofc, there's the illyrians, which are 100% coded as people of color and are a violent and misogynistic group of people lmao. as if htat weren't bad enough, she also tried to trademark illyria/illyiran even tho (and this is what made me make the post this morning) that's a REAL PLACE with REAL PEOPLE LIVING THERE.

and even THAT is tame to the fact she posted a promotion for her own book on the same day breonna taylor was killed and, not only that, but used her death to promote said book because she mentioned the murder in one (1) line of the post. to this day she has STILL NOT taken down that post.

compared to that, her misogyny in her novels (the main character constantly competing with other girls and always thinking she's better than they are and 'not like other girls teehee') and her glaring plagiarism (she uses terminology not only directly pulled from asoiaf (wolf in the north; the queen who was promised; oathbreaker; breaker of chains) but is used in exactly the same context as asoiaf too as well as some pretty significant plotlines of dany's (in particular her freeing the slaves of several cities and gathering up everyone on her continent to support her claim to the throne and unite in defense against a common foe that will turn all of them into walking zombies basically....SOUND FAMILIAR??????)) is a pretty tame offense, but imo it all adds up to just one disgusting whole of a person to me.

oh and, to top it all off, she's a zionist. there's a video essay about her i watched on youtube that explains the proof for this, but i do Not remember what it was she said now, so i'll link it here.

she's also ableist too, which expresses itself in how nesta archeron is treated throughout a court of silver flames (g-d forbid a traumatized woman be hypersexual and an addict and get sick of being treated like shit by the peope around her or she deserves to get thrown out of her home to a place her 'loved ones' know is going to be openly hostile to her lol). i don't think sjm even realizes how ableist she is throughout this book bc she claimed it's a healing journey and like...lol. lmao even.

also (i'm 100% being petty here) i hate how fake she comes across. in every time i see a picture of her, and the one interview of her i saw, she reminds me so much of my mother to the point it makes me physically ill.

i'm almost certainly forgetting something because there's just SOOO much about this woman to dislike, but this is everything that immediately came to mind.

anyway her fans are also rancid and believe she's some sort of goddess of writing when she's not even that good and is 100% a fake and shitty person that doesn't truly care about them at all whatsoever.

[butchpeace]

I’ve been trying to sort out what affect being raised in a conservative and catholic environment had on my trans identification. It’s a tough thing to sort out, but I’m 100% sure I would never have wanted to be a man if I wasn’t raised in the way I was.

It seems ridiculous to imagine that there are parents out there who would prefer their child go through the hell of medical and social transition rather than just be gay and gender-nonconforming.

But it’s clear those parents are out there. And I have to reckon with the possibility that my parents are like that to some extent.

They tried. When I told them I wanted to transition, they finally told me that it’s okay to be a masculine woman. They finally asked me “Why can’t you just be a lesbian?”

It was too little too late. They had never, for my entire life up until that point, said anything positive about masculine women. They had been subtly homophobic my whole life. My mother was a judgmental person who only approved of herself and other women when they looked acceptably feminine, conservatively dressed, not weird, and not overweight. My parents used “just be a masculine woman” as a bargaining chip to prevent my transition, not because they actually meant it. Not because they actually valued me in that way.

My mom wanted me to be like her. She wanted me to wear the makeup and the bras and the dresses. She wanted me to cross my legs, act like a lady, go to college, meet a catholic boy, and spend my life having babies the way she did. It didn’t matter that I wanted short hair and to shop in the boy’s section. She wasn’t having it. After I hit puberty, it wasn’t normal to be a tomboy anymore. That’s what I was taught. My dad was a doormat. To his credit, he did try in some ways to raise his sons and daughters the same. But he also had misogynistic ideas from his religion about how his daughters ideally should be.

I think there are a lot of people out there who know deep down that life is better if you’re a man. That life is better if your kid can blend in, rather than stand out for being obviously gay. They know deep down that life can be shitty for masculine women.

Whether it’s conscious or subconscious, it’s clear that parents of trans kids know this, and part of their reasoning for supporting their child’s transition must be because they see how it would make our lives easier. Transition is a convenient idea. If you pass, it makes the family look good and normal when before they had a kid who was a black sheep. They also start to feel like they can understand or relate to you more easily when you suddenly “fit in” to the heteronormative world. Supporting transition makes them feel good about themselves in the current political climate. My parents went from homophobic conservatives to liberals practically overnight when I transitioned. Where was that support when I came out as a lesbian? Where was that support when I met my first girlfriend? Where were the pride flags and parades then?

But I also know that at the core, their intentions have always been good. They genuinely thought they were helping and supporting me in what I thought was the right thing to do. While they should have known I was too young to make the choices I did, and they should have been more involved in those choices, can I really blame them for being just as lost and confused as I was? Maybe, maybe not.

But I have to wonder, what would my life have been like if instead of my parents and that environment, I had been raised by feminists? What kind of woman would I be today?

[boreal-sea]

fine since apparently i was "rude" last time why do you include men in ur feminism

I already answered this on the main post, so I will copy-paste my reply here:

Because they're half of the population of Earth, and they're also harmed by the patriarchy.

I'm going to speak about American patriarchy here, because that is my primary perspective.

American Patriarchy promotes racism, homophobia, transphobia, antisemitism, xenophobia and all other forms of bigotry; these are all issues that harm men as well as women.

American patriarchy is a hierarchical system designed to keep a very specific type of man in control of society. In America, this man is white, able bodied and able minded, wealthy, Christian, cisgender and heterosexual. He is physically fit; muscular and not fat nor skinny. He is socially in control and aggressive. He is sexually promiscuous and boasts about his "conquests".

Think about the whitest, most "alpha male bro" you can picture, and that is what American patriarchy wants a man to be.

Most men do not fit that picture.

Most men suffer under the patriarchy for failing to match up to what it demands of them; boys who do not match up are abused by their mothers and fathers and peers and teachers into compliance, and are taught to do the same to their peers as they grow up, on the small chance that if they are cruel enough and contort themselves enough, they can earn the favor of privilege over others. It is incredibly harmful.

To circle back around to issues like racism, white American patriarchy is incredibly damaging to black men. Black men absolutely have every right and every reason to be involved in feminism and the fight to take down the patriarchy.

And so do disabled men. And gay men. And trans men. And every other kind of man on the planet. Because even the man who perfectly fits the "idea image" of the patriarchy is severely damaged by it through the act of conforming to its expectations. The expectations of the patriarchy on men are inherently and intentionally abusive, damaging, and demoralizing, intended to keep men under control to maintain the pyramid shaped hierarchy people like Jordan Peterson love so much.

If feminism's goal is to take down the patriarchy, why on earth would you tell 50% of your potential allies who are damaged by the system to sit on the sidelines and not participate in the fight?

It just makes no sense to me.

Oh yes and let me add some feminist literature onto this version of the post:

bell hooks "Feminism is for Everybody"

[clouds-of-wings]

I read a text by Varg Vikernes yesterday where he talked about his childhood and how his experiences in school made him into the Marxism hating Superaryan he is today. It's actually pretty interesting - turns out he spent part of his childhood in Iraq because his father was an engineer who got a job there and took his family with him. He had to go to Iraqi public school because the English school was full. (Is that true..? Does that mean he speaks Arabic..? I can't imagine that would have been possible otherwise?)

But he was only there for a while*, mostly the text was about his experiences back in Norway. Kindergarten was already Marxist far-left feminist HELL because you weren't allowed to be alone, you had to share all your toys (which probably, as in other hell-kindergärten, means 'If another kid takes away the toy you were playing with, you aren't allowed to complain'), it was boring, it was collectivist and so on. Same story in school, of course: He was finished with his tasks after five minutes and had to wait for the rest of the lesson until even the dumbest kid had finished. All because of this Marxist Socialist approach that everyone deserved help, everyone was supposed to reach the same level of attainment. He eventually started skipping school a lot and taught himself everything.

It's interesting to me because my own experiences were so similar, yet I came to completely different conclusions from that. It's just so clear to me that the real problem wasn't that the kids around Varg got too much help, it's that he got too little. I strongly believe that smart and talented kids are special needs kids too. They need extra help every bit as much as a deaf or dyslexic kid. Failing that, it's normal for them to become bored, frustrated, depressed or aggressive, just as he describes himself becoming, to even do badly in school despite being more than capable of keeping up.

Smart kids need exciting challenges, food for their minds, personal mentoring, help with the parts of life they are bad at (often social stuff). It's not a coincidence that the people who make a name for themselves as artists or intellectuals are usually from families of artists or intellectuals or otherwise come from an environment that encouraged and rewarded certain behaviours and interests, for example special schools or cultural hot spots that allowed talent to flourish. It's very hard to realize your potential when no one encourages it.

Varg eventually discovered the black metal scene of his day of course, but I wish he had grown up in a place that was even more "Marxist", even more about giving everyone the help they needed, a place that had evolved enough to realize that just because a kid is smart doesn't mean that it's okay to leave them to their own devices. It's basically neglect to just throw a gifted kid in with everyone else and not give them any help. The Marxist axiom "to each according to their needs, from each according to their ability" comes to mind.

I actually agree that collectivism can keep a talented person down. Egalitarianism is often used as a virtuous excuse to make sure a clique will triumph over an individual. I think this is a problem that egalitarian and collectivist spaces generally have, I've even seen it in ethnographies about otherwise pretty paradisaical societies. But clearly this is a blatant waste of talent, and quite cruel. Societies that allow for positions like "shaman" have a better idea: this person gets special training, but in return they perform a service that few others could perform. That way, there's reciprocity. Isn't that the true Marxist way..?

--

\* It must have been at most a year - they went in 1979 and the 1st Gulf War started in 1980 - given that the text is about how he triumphed against adversity, I think he would have mentioned if he'd been there during that time

[boybff]

wait hiiiii hi hello bestie i didn’t know u like video essays!! i’ve been trying to find more to watch recently, do u have any other recs? about any topic 👀

HIIIIII bestie Robin, are you ready?? After harvesting my Youtube subscription and liked video lists here is what I have compiled. I'm gonna put my current top 5 video recommendations and then the rest of the list, under the cut, is organized by creator.

Why Are There So Many Confederate Vampires

The art of religious interpretation (midnight mass vs god’s not dead)

Defunctland: Walt Disney's City of the Future, E.P.C.O.T.

Hogwarts Legacy, JK Rowling, and Trans Advocacy

Cultural Inspirations in Avatar: The Last Airbender Book 1 - Water 

CHANNELS

biz barclay - hilarious, brilliant, my best friend who drinks wine and weaves me long insightful stories while sitting on the dresser or in the bathtub. The vast amount of knowledge, historical 

understanding snapewives: religion, fandom, sociology, & erotica

Goncharov (1973) video essay

The art of religious interpretation (midnight mass vs god’s not dead)

Xiran Jay Zhao - Author of one of my FAVE YA novels, “Iron Widow” (which is a MUST read). I always want more avatar content that focuses on cultural inspirations from trusted sources. Xiran taught me so much about the avatar universe I already loved as well as valuable critiques. They also do retellings of historical events such as- Bisexual Han Dynasty Emperors and Forgotten Warrior Queen - Fu Hao.

Cultural Inspirations in Avatar: The Last Airbender Book 1 - Water 

Cultural Inspirations in Avatar: The Last Airbender Book 2 - Earth 

Cultural Inspirations in Avatar: The Last Airbender Book 3 - Fire 

Fundie Fridays - Jen, a leftist queer feminist, and her husband James examine different aspects of Christian fundamentalism, American conservative politics and pop culture. She has remade a lot of her older videos so make sure to watch the updated versions! She was also featured in the Amazon docuseries “Shiny Happy People” which I would HIGHLY recommend. 

Vacation Bible School of Rock (3 part video series History of Contemporary Christian Music)

Ken Ham’s Creation Museum & Ark Encounter

Ask a Mortician - Caitlin Doughty!!! The adult Wednesday Addams we should have got. So compassionate, informed, and moving!! I love her work and she has taught me so much about what it means to have a relationship with death and grief. Her work deals with heavy topics and you can tell she does this work from a deeply respectful, informed place. 

The Lake That Never Gives Up Her Dead

Let’s Visit the Churches Made of Human Skulls

Why are Black and White Funeral Homes STILL Separate? With Dr. Kami Fletcher

Iconic Corpse Series

Princess Weekes -  Nuanced video essays on pop culture, race, feminism, and other social issues. Takes time to break down complex concepts, their origins and material consequences. The essay on confederate vampires and the connection later made to sci-fi media like Firefly were so paradigm shifting to me!

Why Are There So Many Confederate Vampires

The Magical Negroes of Stephen King

Ro Ramdin - Poetic, biting, and introspective essays on pop culture. 

Do Celebrities Hate Their Fans? (Doja Cat, Frank Ocean)

Hogwarts Legacy, JK Rowling, and Trans Advocacy

DefunctLand- History of extinct theme parks and themed entertainment experiences. 

Defunctland: Walt Disney's City of the Future, E.P.C.O.T.

Disney Channel’s Theme: A History Mystery

Mina Le - Fashion, movies and pop culture

WHY IS EVERYTHING SO UGLY: The Curse of Modernism

FAIRYTALE COSTUMES: it’s giving renfaire but why?

Quinton Reviews - Extensive videos covering niche topics, most popular for Nickelodeon deep dive retrospectives.

How Documentaries Lie to You

The ICarly/Victorious Saga Playlist

TheEpicNate315 - yea i fucking love endless hours of useless skyrim lore because the conspiracies are so deep and I have to do 0 of the research to get all of the information years of scouts worked to piece together! 

The Skyrim Mysteries Iceberg (Part 1 of 4)

The Fallout Mysteries Iceberg (Part 1 of 2, incomplete series)

Mike’s Mic - Silly, goofy, and thorough breakdowns of nostalgic TV shows

Any of his unhinged recaps - LOST, Pretty Little Liars, Glee

Tiffanyferg - Media criticism and commentary

Internet Analysis Series 

Zoë Ligon - sex educator, artist, and writer, who also owns SpectrumBoutique.com, a health and education oriented sex toy store. Such a special place in my heart for her!! Her bondage mini-documentary with Midori was so touching. 

Sex Stuff | Japanese Rope Bondage with Midori

Channels Newer to Me

Broey Deschanel - a mixture of film analyses, retrospectives, politics and just absolutely overthinking anything to do with pop culture

Elvis (2022) and the Utter Mediocrity of Biopics 

Meeptop - rambling about movies and stuff

Who is Dahmer Even Made For?

LadyJenevia - discussing entertainment media content including films, television series, etc. Expect to find reviews of recent cinematic releases, video essays on older releases, and interviews with talent from the film/television industry

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery and The Art of Hiding in Plain Sight (Netflix Review/Video Essay)

As a disclaimer, I am not endorsing any creator fully and if you see someone you think I should not promote please reach out to me so I can edit this list. As a general rule of thumb the more I had to write about someone, the more informed the recommendation.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Hello everyone, today I'll do something never before seen on the flames and darkness liveblog which is read TWO chapters!! Idk man, i havent been able to read more than one chapter at a time recently because this book suddenly turned into such a slog to get through, although granted that might also just be my mental illness making it more difficult. whatever, i'll be in treatment for that next week

Anyway, today I'll be reading chapter 44 which is the star fall chapter, and chapter 45 which is. a chapter. Knowing this book series nothing of note is gonna happen in that one but that wont stop me from reading it

Chapter 44

Okay, theyre mentioning Feyre not looking so emancipated amymore and it made me remember all the weird weight shit from the start of this book. Like, she was losing weight because she was throwing up all the time and then not eating a lot and everyone was constantly remarking on that and it was unbelievably uncomfortable, but then when Feyre officially joined the night court and everyone immediately stopped talking about it, it almost feels a little manipulative, if that makes sense. Like, this book is ostensibly about Feyres healing journey but the Night Court cannot, under any circumstances, have anything negative associated with it so her trauma basically just disappears so we dont have to see the unpleasant parts of her recovery, she has one (1) nightmare after she starts living there permanently, one (1) moment where she feels too depressed to leave the bed and a few moment where she acts out but then immediately feels bad for it every time

Ughhhhh Feyre is wearing a dress for this which is really frustrating but you guys already know how I feel about that so shant go into that much more detail on this

I swear Im not just saying this to be a hater, Feyres dress sounds so tacky too

yoooooooo is Cassian implying he'd like to wear a tacky ass dress too??

and yet hes just wearing a BLACK TUNIC bro Feyre is literally covered in diamonds from head to toe so she can look like a shooting star or whatever and Cassian doesnt even have the decency to wear a black tunic that glitters or something?? Or hell, maybe even a red tunic to match his siphons, idk, give me SOMETHING im gonna tear my fucking hair out

Feyre is wondering about the IC being her friends and its like, girlie theyre barely even each others friends and youve known each other for maybe half a year to their 500 years

Feyre is describing Azriel hungrily staring at Mor's ass and it reminded me of that one bonus chapter Ive seen discussions about where he's really horny about Elain in a way thats pretty uncomfortable, and a lot of ex-Elriels say that it made them stop liking the idea of the ship because thats when they realized that SJM was just gonna mutilate both of their characters for the sake of smut, but honestly I dont think she would even need to mutilate Az that much

I could not give less of a shit about the Mor/Cassian/Azriel drama but I have to admit its kinda funny reading about Feyre speculating so much about Mor's relationships knowing shes gonna turn out to be interested in women

Mor says that Rhysand was very upset after she had sex with Cassian and beat him up as hard as he could (#incest) but she says he wasnt upset because of her virginity but because of the danger she put herself in by losing it, which is like, first of all that seems like splitting hairs, he was still upset that she lost her virginity even though that was none of his business. And second of all, I think it would actually make sense for him to have the kind of archaic sexist beliefs that would make Mor losing her virginity upsetting to him, considering he was also 17 when that happened just like Mor and Im guessing there wasnt anyone around to teach him feminism. or maybe hes so feminist he came out of the womb believing in womens rights and didnt need to be taught anything

god, the inner circle dynamics are so comically fucked up I have no idea how they can stand being around each other

Again, Im not much of a Feylin girlie but "Your hair looks... clean." >>>>>>>>>>>>>> "You look like a women again." (???? whats thag even supposed to mean)

So Rhysand is not wearing a black tunic, but he is wearing wearing a black jacket which is equally disappointing. atleast he has his tits out i guess

Rhysand was gone for 50 years and yet his best friends are not spending any time with him at their first party together since theyve been seperated, thats what i call friendship goals

Yeah, I guess its kinda sad that Rhys missed out on important holiday that meant a lot to him while undr the mountain but you know who else had to do that? Literally everyone that wasnt from the spring court

So he doesnt wanna tell his friends, who are by all accounts doing alright because theyve spent the past few decades trapped in a beautiful idyllic city, about his trauma but hes perfectly fine traumadumping on a twenty year old woman who just started to recover from her own trauma

Maybe Im just in a bad mood but this bullshit where theyre getting covered in star spirits or whatever feels so joyless to me, like its not whimsical or fun to me

Okay so, Ive heard about Rhysand calling Feyre exquisite and it made me cringe just thinking about it, but it looks like theyve translated that to him calling her 'herrlich' which means the exact same thing but it sounds a lot less weird and bad. once again, thank you, Alexandra

Feyre really just said "You regret sexually assaulting me? But why?" huh

Chapter 45:

Okay, thats the end of the chapter but theres two more things that kinda annoyed me that I didnt feel the need to mention as I was reading. 1) Feyre kept going on and on aboht Rhysand being her friend, it felt so insincere, its like sjm say a post online right before she started writing this chapter that was like "in the best relationships, your partner isnt just your partner but also your best friend" and decided to put that sentiment in her book, and 2) I felt like there were so many moments towards the end of that chapter where Feyre is like "oh, ive never felt this way with anyone" and its very obviously alluding to how she didnt love Tamlin as much as she does Rhysand now, and it was just very strange to read, like Tamlin was haunting the narrative even though hes not even dead yet

Uhm. so i got really tired all of a sudden so I took a nap at this point and read some gay vampire fanfic to rejunivate myself and now Im ready for whatever happens in the next chapter

"I was a traitor. [...] Even though I oficially left Tamlin - it was only two months ago, after all. By Fae standards that was probably barely more than a day." Oh yeah, i havent been keeping track of the time thanks for reminding me that this story about immortals is moving at a breakneck pace for no goddamn reason. But also, as an author trying to write a grand long-lasting romance, why would you write this. I know Feysand are gonna get married at the end of book and now when I get to that point Im not gonna be thinking "wowwww such romance" Im gonna be thinking "damn these bozos did the fae equivalent of getting eloped in vegas after knowing each other for barely a week"

Oh, men of all ages are training at this camp? would you say some of them are. child-aged

Feyre is being all "its so cold here, im freezing in my illyrian leathers I cant imagine a child with no clothes surviving here for a single day, much less eight years" (referring to Cassian) and yet she doesnt spare a single thought to all the children who have to be at this camp as well because this is the camp that the batboys grew up in, its not like this is a different kind of camp where they dont train children

God I hate Feyre thinking about how fuckin powerful the batboys are especially because its like, Rhysand is literally their high lord, he already holds so much power over the guys running this camp we dont need a reminder that he could easily crush their minds or that his goons need more syphons to contain the totality of their power or whatever

I get that these guys are like, shitty misogynists or whatever, but I dont think Rhys throwing them out of the house they live in is some #boyboss move hes just being an asshole

Rhysand would never want to lock Feyre in a house for protection, but he does want to decapitate anyone who lays a hand on her which is soooooo much better

Rhysand keeps calling the.... "females" of this camp "girls" which implies one of two things: 1) hes talking about adult women, hes just calling them girls, which is not very feminist of our feminist king, or 2) hes talking about actual girls aka children which. thank god for our feminist king having equal-opportunity child soldiers

Its actually kind of surreal how theyre at the camp where the batboys spent their CHILDhoods and Feyre keeps talking about what it mustve been like for Cassian while the narrative is actively avoiding talking about children being at the camp at this present moment while also not outright stating "there are no kids here at this present moment"

"'[The clipping of the wings is] to ensure the safety of their women, they said.'" this reminds me of something @/kateprincessofbluewhales said in regards to Rhysand forcing illyrian women to train but not doing anything else to advance their rights, which is that the wing clipping mightve started as a way for men to help women dodge the 'draft' that seems to be mandatory for all healthy illyrians. I dont really have anything else to say about that, it just popped into my head and i thought it was interesting

Rhysand is talking about how at some of the camps, women are declared anti-marriage material if they train and how he cant do anything about that and its like, even if these women are not officially declared unmarriable or whatever, the misogynistic men that make up these camps are probably not gonna wanna marry a women who trains, so what difference does that really make

Also, he says the only thing he could do about 'laws' like that is to murder the warlords and take their children/trainees? under his wing and I guess he thinks he would have to do that for every camp that does that but honestly, I think just doing it once or twice would send a powerful enough message to discourage other warlords from being misogynistic. And he wouldnt have to raise all these children all by himself either, Im sure he could get the help of a few non-sexist men or even, gasp, some women. Like those priestesses living in that library Im sure some of the ones that have already recovered from their trauma somewhat wouldnt mind teaching some boys about the harm that misogyny does

Okay so the blood rite is called a Blutritual [blood ritual] in german which is a little confusing because a ritual is a pretty specific thing and I dont think the blood rite is that specific thing but whatever, it sounds cool enough

Ive said this before, I am not a Tamlin girlie, at best I prefer him to Rhysand, and I dont like or trust Rhysand at all, but imagine hearing that tragic story about how their families killed each other, leaving them as the only survivors and being like "I cant believe Tamlin killed Rhysands family!!" especially when its like, the only person Feyre actually knows Tamlin killed is Rhysands dad who sucked ass, its not exactly a great loss

I feel like i had a lot of thoughts about a lot of things in this chapter that I couldnt write down because theyre these abstract half-thoughts, so I think I'll let those marinate until theyre full thoughts and share them with you at some later date

[doberbutts]

thank you for just being a breath of fresh air, your blog always feels so calm and measured with all the topics you cover so thoughtfuly you have taught more about feminism then my 10 years n this website and now have got me reading so many good feminist books wondering if you had other recommendations outside of Bell Hooks, Audre Lorde and Gloria Anzaldua

So the problem with my brain injury is that names (and dates) are very, very difficult for me, so I'm sure the answer is yes but considering my brain goes 🤷‍♂️ head empty 🤷‍♂️ when trying to remember the names of the coworkers I see every day sometimes I'm going to have a really hard time answering asks like this, because I have gotten several.

Honestly, I think a good read through pretty much any bookstore's black politics section will serve you better than any internet curated list. Kimberly Crenshaw's intersectionality theory borrows heavily from WEB Dubois (it's almost word-for-word but he did not consider gender to be an important aspect, and iirc also did not mention sexuality), who borrowed his theory from escaped slaves, many of whom are lost to time and we will never know their names.

Much of modern black theory is similarly cumulative- you need to understand the whole to understand the piece. You won't understand Audre Lord or bell hooks unless you understand the theory they're speaking and writing in communication with, what came before, what came after. The laws and restrictions and oppression from which this theory sprang up. The lived experiences of the people who took the time to craft this theory and work towards a better tomorrow. Their strengths and their shortcomings. Where they succeeded and where they failed.

Any schmuck can give you a book list. But I think you need to understand multiple perspectives to really get it. Even perspectives you may not agree with, or want to critique. So go to a book store or a library and peruse their black politics section, and start learning that way.

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

Why do people think zoomers males are going right because they want to be sexist?

As a 23 year old black American…maybe if the left didn’t allow SJWs write Mein Kampf the feminist edition everyday we wouldn’t have these issues.

Maybe it already existed, it didn’t help that Gen x-Millennials activists went “Let me project my unresolved childhood and daddy issues on 8-13 year old boys!” starting in the 2010’s

All this victim blaming towards males that feminists dead ass said they need to taught not to rape at middle school for years. While she isn’t a misandrist, I thought my abusive stepmother was an exception not the standard. But seem like 56% of her generation are super fucked up beyond salvation

It's because they've been indoctrinated into believing that anything to the right of Chairman Mao is Fascism.

Under such a false and unsustainable belief system, anyone capable of noticing sex differences is both a sexist and a 'transphobe', instead of simply a normal person with eyes that work.